i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
