She is in my trunk
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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