I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize