Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
