i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
These tits shall not be calmed
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
