Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
