You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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