I wish life had little blips of pornography
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
