hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
