you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
