do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
