at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
