do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
