that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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