i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
