very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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