Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
