what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
