I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize