Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
