I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
thus making me awesome and them whores
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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