if you like me you must not know who I am
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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