So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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