remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
