I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
