yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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