You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
