it wasn't lemon gatorade
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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