Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
