I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
