His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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