She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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