Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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