So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
