Quick, to the slutcave!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
