I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
