tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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