Can Purell be used as lube?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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