last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
