There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
