Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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