she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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