Where is the hickey?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
