a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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