fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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