I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
