Buhtt sex?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
