why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Randomize
