well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm getting married
To pizza
A+ Viking dick
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
