he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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