ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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