just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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