As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
