He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
