did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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