Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
