Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
